We all talk to ourselves, believe it or not you’re probably talking to yourself right now. It’s called self-talk.

Self-talk is your inner voice of the thoughts that we normally don’t say aloud, but when that self-talk spills out, it can have a big influence on how we feel about who we are, what we are capable of and what we deserve.

Self-talk can be Positive or Negative

Negative self-talk makes you feel horrible. It can make you feel inadequate, incapable, sad and can make matters worse.

♦ Negative self-talk include statements where you make put-downs such as, “I’m ugly”, “I’m stupid”, “I can’t do it”, “I’m an idiot” or “I don’t deserve.”

Positive self-talk makes you feel better about yourself. Positive self-talk allows you to deliver a dose of optimism while helping you focus on what you have already accomplished or learned. It can even remind you of what you are capable of achieving or completing.

♦ Positive self-talk includes encouraging and empowering statements such as, “I am trying my hardest”, “Look how much I’ve accomplished”, “I am beautiful”, “I am worthy” and “I am capable.”

Tips to combat negative self-talk

  • Focus on the evidence – Is there any evidence in what I am thinking or what I am saying to myself?
  • Be your own best-friend – Would you say these mean things to a good friend? Would you call your good friend ugly, stupid or unworthy…not if you want to keep that friend! So, don’t be a bad friend to yourself.
  • Affies (Affirmations) – If you notice yourself increasingly using negative talk, instead of putting yourself down, try to take 5 minutes out of your day, grab a piece of paper and quickly jot down every compliant you could give yourself.


– Durrell Sheppard