How Do I Process My Grief?
Understanding Grief and Finding a Path Forward
by Ann Hogan, LCPC, Anxiety & Stress Center, Homewood, IL
Grief is one of the most universal yet deeply personal experiences we face. Whether you’ve lost a loved one, experienced the end of a relationship, or are navigating another kind of loss, grief can feel overwhelming, disorienting, and, at times, even isolating. If you’re asking yourself, “How do I process my grief?”—know that you’re not alone, and there is no one “right” way to grieve. Still, there are healthy ways to support yourself through the emotional healing process with the assistance of licensed therapist at the Anxiety and Stress Center in Homewood and Orland Park, IL.
In this post, we’ll explore what grief is, why it affects us so deeply, and practical strategies you can use to begin processing it.
Understanding Grief: It’s Not Just About Loss
Grief is our natural emotional response to loss. While it’s most often associated with death, grief can arise from many types of loss—divorce, a move, job changes, illness, or even changes in identity or life stage.
Grief can show up emotionally (sadness, anger, numbness), physically (fatigue, sleep problems, changes in appetite), mentally (difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness), and spiritually (questioning beliefs, loss of purpose). These responses are all valid and part of the grieving process.
You may have heard of the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages, introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, are not a linear roadmap. Grief doesn’t unfold in predictable steps. Instead, most people move back and forth between different emotions over time.
1. Allow Yourself to Feel
One of the most important, healthy things you can do when processing grief is to give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling—without judgment. There is no emotion that is “wrong” in grief.
- Sadness and longing may arise at unexpected moments.
- Anger may surprise you—even if it’s directed at the person you lost, a situation, or yourself.
- Guilt is also common, especially when we replay “what if” scenarios in our minds.
- You might even feel numb—as if nothing can touch you. That, too, is a natural protective response.
The key is not to suppress or rush past these emotions. Try to acknowledge them with compassion. “I’m feeling really angry today, and that’s okay.” This act of self-validation is a powerful step in healing.
2. Create Space for Grief
Grief needs room to be processed. In our busy lives, it’s easy to push pain aside just to get through the day. But unprocessed grief often shows up in other ways—chronic stress, anxiety, depression, or physical symptoms.
Here are some ways to intentionally create space for your grief:
- Journal your thoughts and memories: Writing can help make sense of swirling emotions.
- Talk with someone you trust: A friend, family member, or therapist can offer a supportive presence.
- Set aside quiet time: Even 10–15 minutes a day of stillness can help you reconnect with what you’re feeling.
- Engage in creative expression: Art, music, and movement can help express what words cannot.
You don’t need to focus on grief 24/7. Balance is important. But carving out intentional space helps ensure grief doesn’t stay buried.
3. Find Rituals That Bring Meaning
Rituals can be a grounding and healing part of grief. They help mark what has been lost and offer a sense of continuity.
Some meaningful rituals include:
- Lighting a candle on significant dates
- Creating a memory box or photo album
- Visiting a special place
- Planting a tree in someone’s memory
- Writing a letter to the person or thing you’ve lost
These small acts can bring comfort and a sense of connection, especially when grief feels abstract or overwhelming.
4. Lean on Support Systems
Grieving doesn’t mean you have to go through it alone. Connection is a vital part of the healing process.
- Therapy can provide a nonjudgmental space to explore your grief and learn coping tools.
- Support groups—online or in person—allow you to connect with others who understand.
- Friends and family may not always know what to say, but simply being with someone who cares can make a difference.
If you feel like your grief is lasting longer or affecting your ability to function, that’s not a sign of weakness—it’s a sign you may need additional support. Reaching out for help is a courageous and healthy step.
5. Be Gentle with Yourself
Grief isn’t something to “get over.” It’s something you learn to carry differently over time. There may be good days and harder days. Moments when you laugh, then moments when you’re overcome by sadness again. This is all part of the process.
Here are a few reminders to carry with you:
- Healing doesn’t mean forgetting.
- You are allowed to feel joy again.
- You’re doing the best you can, even on the hard days.
- Grief changes shape, but love endures.
Final Thoughts
Processing grief is not about finding a quick fix. It’s about honoring your loss, feeling your emotions, and slowly building a new way of being in the world. This journey takes time, patience, and support—but healing is possible.
If you’re struggling, consider speaking with a therapist who can walk alongside you through your grief. You don’t have to do this alone.
Remember: There is no timeline for healing, and every path through grief is unique. Wherever you are right now, you are not broken—you are grieving. And that is a reflection of your love.
If you’re looking for compassionate, professional support as you navigate grief, we’re here to help. Contact the Anxiety and Stress Center with locations in Homewood and Orland Park, IL today to schedule a session or learn more about our services. Visit our website at Anxiety & Stress Center Today.