“Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” This famous line from The Princess Bride holds a timeless truth: pain is a fundamental part of life. We can’t escape it, but we do have a choice in the type of pain we face.
The concept of “picking your pain” is about recognizing that life is full of challenges and discomfort, but we have the power to decide which discomfort we’re willing to endure. Whether it’s the pain of putting in the effort to build a healthier lifestyle, the pain of having hard but necessary conversations, or the pain of facing our deepest fears—each of us has to decide what we’re willing to be uncomfortable for.
The real power comes in choosing your pain with intention. Instead of avoiding discomfort altogether, we can consciously choose the kind of struggle that aligns with our values and goals. Are you willing to endure the pain of working long hours to build a fulfilling career? Or would you rather face the pain of potential regret later in life for not pursuing your dreams? By owning our decisions, we take control of our narrative and stop allowing life to happen to us.
A key concept from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) also helps us understand the relationship between pain and suffering: Pain + Nonacceptance = Suffering. Life is filled with inevitable pain, but it’s our resistance to that pain, our refusal to accept it, that amplifies our suffering. Accepting the pain that comes with change, growth, or facing difficult truths helps us move through it with less emotional turmoil.
So, the next time you’re faced with discomfort, remember: you don’t have to run from it. You can choose which pain to embrace, knowing that by owning your decisions, you’re stepping into your power. The real suffering doesn’t come from the discomfort itself, but from resisting it. Embrace your pain, choose your struggles wisely, and allow it to guide you toward the life you want to create.