Losing more than one person—especially close together—can feel overwhelming in a way that’s hard to put into words. It’s not just “more grief,” it can feel like your sense of stability or safety has been shaken all at once. People often describe it as waves stacking on top of each other, or like they never get a chance to come up for air before the next surge hits.
A few things that may help you make sense of what you’re feeling:
Grief doesn’t stay neatly separated. One loss can stir up feelings from another, so you might feel sadness, anger, numbness, guilt, or even brief moments of relief or calm—all mixed together. None of that is wrong.
Your capacity to process is limited. When losses pile up, your mind sometimes “paces” the grief—feeling very intense one moment and strangely distant the next. That’s a natural way your brain protects you from overload.
There’s no single timeline. You might grieve one person more intensely at first, then another later. Or all of it may hit at unpredictable times—anniversaries, small reminders, or even out of nowhere.
If you’re open to it, here are some ways to cope in the middle of this:
Focus on very small steps. Eating, sleeping, and getting through the day counts as progress right now.
Give each loss its own space when you can. Some people find it helpful to remember or honor each person separately—through journaling, photos, or quiet reflection.
Lean on others, even lightly. You don’t have to explain everything. Just being around someone or sending a simple message can reduce isolation.
Create simple grounding routines. Things like walking, sitting outside, or listening to familiar music can help when emotions spike.
Consider support beyond your circle. A grief counselor or support group can help you carry multiple losses without feeling like you’re burdening loved ones.
If the grief ever starts to feel unbearable—like you can’t function, or you’re having thoughts about not wanting to be here anymore—it’s really important to reach out to someone right away. You don’t have to handle that part alone.
If you want, you can tell me a bit about the people you lost or what’s been hardest lately. I’m here to listen.